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Welcome to the Considering Bankruptcy category of the Support Group. Are you considering bankruptcy? This is the place for discussions about Considering Bankruptcy.
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Discussion: Feeling worried and guilty  (Read 799 times)
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« on: June 12, 2011, 04:50:56 PM »
thistooshallpass
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Please don't let my nickname fool you.  I take this bankruptcy possibility very seriously.  I just feel sick about it and guilty.  I have pretty much decided I will go in and sign all the paperwork on Monday for bankruptcy.
I am on mat leave currently but go back to work in July.  I have a car and owe money on my car loan.  I am hoping I can continue to pay the loan and keep the car because I will need it next month when I go back to work.  I don't know how I will get my daughter to daycare and then myself to work on time without a car, not to mention the cold winter months.  I think I read there was a 3,000 exemption for people in Manitoba where they can keep their car if it is worth that much, after the loan is paid.  I'm thinking maybe I'm not eligible for the exemption because the day I file for bankruptcy I am not working.  Does anyone have any thoughts on this?
Also, I'm just looking for support and hoping I'm not the only one who has a child who is filing for bankruptcy.
Thanks in advance.
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« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2011, 05:27:53 PM »
JEC
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Hello,

You are not alone. Many people with children have filed for Bankruptcy. They too have felt the guilt of it. It's a natural reaction....we feel like failures.

But, in a positive way...you are starting to improve your future for yourself and child. The guilt will leave once you get the Bankruptcy underway. You will learn from your mistakes and hopefully never be in the same situation again. You will regain your happiness and sense of freedom...you will take control of your life and direct it.....and not let your debts control you.

I don't know about the car situation. Hopefully someone can answer that for you.

Best of luck with all the process. I know you will be a happier, more stress-free, and more confident person soon!!!!  Believe me, I am, and I didn't believe it last year!!!   Grin

JEC
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« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2011, 04:15:02 PM »
thistooshallpass
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Thanks for the support and kind words JEC.  I know I have done the right thing and I certainly have and will learn from my mistakes.  I was thrilled to have found this on line support group and it really helps reading the other posts.
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« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2011, 09:17:55 PM »
Pot_of_Gold
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I am a single mother of a four year old.  I can manage the guilty feelings around my values around paying for what I purchased. 

But I have a child, so I decided it was time to add a few new values:

1) Food on the table, no more pulling up in my new car to the soup kitchen so my son can have lunch.
2) Fun stuff for my kid to do (i.e. swim lessons instead sitting in front of the tv all day)
3) Medical Treatment that I need
4) Less financial stress, simpler life
5) A little extra for myself, (like a haircut more than once every 6 months)
6) Quality child care for my child
7) Living where my son and I have support
Cool Living a life without blame and shame

So I give up that old value and I will be declaring bankrupcy.  It is just a value and judgement that we are avoiding.

Bankrupcy is only for people who are eligible and serves an important function to reduce a nations debt and assist people who have found themselves in a situation where the liaise fair market cannot serve them any more.

Single moms... are definitely included!  Good luck!
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« Reply #4 on: December 09, 2011, 10:30:53 PM »
tipler
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Very well written "Pot of  Gold".  Before I went with CP, I was also struggling with it as well.

Laissez-faire market NO LONGER EXISTS , when government bailed out financial institutions, guarantying CEO's golden parachutes and bonuses for destroying financial market it stopped existing. When individuals make bad money decisions they are forced to give up a lot with consequences that last for quite some time.  When greedy corporate world screwed up they got a helping hand from the government with very little consequences. 

Getting a new financial start is great. Putting your needs and your kid needs ahead is also a great idea.
Thanks for a great post. Good Luck.

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« Reply #5 on: December 10, 2011, 01:52:50 AM »
Pot_of_Gold
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When they bailed out the corporations, it was spun as a way to save jobs and keep money coming into the economy.  Of course there are other reasons why big government might give big business a lift, but that is another topic.

The outcome of all those bail outs is that the economic condition cannot recover quickly, until all of us little guys give up feeling guilty and enough of us bankrupt to make the market correction that would have occurred if the big corporations were not bailed out.  When enough people go bankrupt the market will correct and I really think that those well paid factory workers who could have lost jobs are far fewer than the number of people now suffering debt induced poverty.

Since 6 out of 10 Canadians do not have enough savings to cover an adverse life event (job loss, divorce, death of a partner, sickness.) Most people will have one or more adverse life events (in my case, I've been insolvent since I started university) and can't pay back the debts. It took me several adverse events (injury and illness, single parenthood, dependant mother, job loss, business losses, 30% loss of home value) to bring me here, but I started with a pretty good earnings so I had further to fall!  Those who start with less, should feel no more or no less guilt than anyone else; we are all pawns in this economic game.

Laissez-faire market relies on many buyers and many sellers.  There are many buyers but monopolies for most sellers, so you are right, it doesn't exist.  Mass Marketing was never part of "natural markets" because most marketing and media is psychologically engineered to entice buyers to buy more than they really need (by making them feel inadequate, for example)  and banks stand ready with credit products.  Goods are set at prices set by monopolies who outsource labour to countries who pay poverty wages and rob the earth of resources making profits and interest revenue. THANK GOD for bankruptcy!  It wouldn't exist if it didn't serve an important function.

I tell everyone I am going bankrupt...everyone.  It is time to break the stigma and celebrate bankrupcy as a meaningful contribution to the economy in times like these. So when you go bankrupt, you are actually taking money from the rich and redistributing wealth.  This is an amazingly brave thing to do which will help the entire population (because income disparity is creating child poverty that should embarrass Canadians!) Occupy this! Grin
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« Reply #6 on: December 10, 2011, 07:09:46 PM »
tipler
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Very interesting outlook on bankruptcy but its true. I totally agree with your statement " So when you go bankrupt, you are actually taking money from the rich and redistributing wealth " . Yes its the corporate greed that continuously asks us to do more for less and the wage gap is continuously getting bigger. It is shocking that my parents had more disposable income than I do, anyways we are getting off topic here.

Bottom line is that personal bankruptcy should be treated like a business decision, no quilt, no remorse, we get back to zero and start over.  Majority of bankrupt people didn't count on being outsourced to cheaper labor overseas, sicknesses and reduced services. So to those that feel guilty now about going bankrupt please re think the way you think.  Treat your personal fiances like business would have treated their finances.
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« Reply #7 on: December 10, 2011, 09:42:10 PM »
Pot_of_Gold
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In a way, I got into trouble because I didn't take my personal financial decisions like business ones, because I was providing housing for my mom, so therefore her anxiety and my guilt kept the out of money which I could have used to make better financial decisions.  Now that my mom abandoned the property, I have no choice but to be very business like about it. 

I am noticing that the car is also a financial decision that needs to be dealt with on a more business level.  I purchased the car with assurance of a warrenty but the tires wore out inside one year and then they wont accept a warrenty claim, so I didn't receive the product I wanted.  So the car might just have to go and I can live without one until I am healthy enough to go back to my job.
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