If a person has to declare bankruptcy are they allowed to have any savings in their account?  Are you allowed up to a certain amount that will not be taken away?  Obviously I am not talking about a large amount of money as I know that will be used toward ones debt.   I am talking about a small amount for emergencies due to not having any credit for such things any longer.

I know you are allowed so much in furniture, car, jewels, etc.

I do get what you are saying.  Thank you so much for the quick reply.

I really need some advice on what to do.  I am really confused. 

I owe two credit cards.  I have not missed one payment on either card.  I am the type of person who pays the bills on time and never misses a payment. 

Last year my whole world came crashing down when my ex, out of the blue, decided he no longer wanted to be with me after a decade.  The kids (not his bio kids) and I had to leave the house, as he put the down payment and paid the mortgage on the house.   I just got laid off in the middle of a big recession, I had no saving, no furniture, no nothing (I had been ill for a number of years and could not work...therefore did not have a chance to save anything).   I was fubared to say the least.

The past year has been an unbelievable struggle just to survive.  There is so much to the story but I will spare you.  I have been surviving on child support only, until March of this year when I started receiving spousal support that helped but certainly did not improve my situation dramatically.  Despite so little money to live on I never missed a credit card payment and still managed to pay my bills.  How this was done, even I don't know....I did not use the credit card much because if I did my monthly payment would go up and I could not afford that. 

Despite the job hunt no job was found (a crap story behind this one as well).  I have been through hell and continue to stay there to this day for some reason.

Now I am looking at bankruptcy because despite my best efforts I cannot do it anymore.  I cannot keep up the payments on the cards and on one of them I will be paying for the rest of my life - I owe $40,000 (yet another crap story behind how this got to this number) and am just paying the interest only on one of them.

During this past year I found out my kids father had been severely underpaying child support for the past three years.  To help my kids and I to get into better shape I had to take him to court and fight for this.  Despite this being an open and shut case as he is suppose to pay the guideline support, he feels he does not have to and has been dragging this on for a year now.  This situation may be resolved at the end of the month.

I was told that if I file before this has been resolved any retro money will not go to my kids but to my creditors.  This money is for them and their needs so it is a bit upsetting that they don't allow you to keep anything. 

If I file after this has been resolved it was suggested to me to spend the money before I file which defeats the purpose of having that money for my kids future and for things they are going to need like clothes, shoes...things that I have not been able to buy them all this time because I had no money.  This money was suppose to be for them.  We are not talking about a huge sum by the way because if that were the case I would not have to file for bankruptcy.

I am very stuck as to what to do.  Do I file or not?  Do I keep trying to live the way I have been which is killing me not to mention having no money for anything except just the bills - food comes from the food bank as there is no money for that luxury or do I file and live with the knowledge that I  fought all this time for my kids for nothing, not to mention having to put up with their dad's bullying?

I am also one of the 5% that have a very high credit rating despite the amount of my debt.  I worked hard for that rating and it kills me to have to have that wiped away.

Advice is so much needed.  I just don't know what to do.

I did talk to a trustee.  I was two minutes late and he looked at his watch and said he was ready to leave had I not walked in the door.  I have not been sleeping for days stressing over this whole thing not to mention everything else.  This, made me feel tight from the get go.  I apologized and told him I had not slept in days and am slower than normal.

After telling him my story he softened up a bit.  Another classic example of how assumption can be so wrong.  This, of course, did not make me feel better to be honest. 

My questions were not really answered about the retro child support.  I was told that if bankruptcy is started before retro support is finalized it will be taken.  If I claim bankruptcy after retro child support is finalized I would not be able to keep any money in the bank for them as it will be taken away.   

So now I am at a point of what do I do?  Do I not bother to claim bankruptcy and ensure my kids have something so when they need it I have the money and keep praying for a job to give me a yes.  Or do I claim anyway to relieve this incredible burden that is killing me and know that I have fought for so long for my kids and am finally getting somewhere only to give it all up. 

This is once again right up there with one of the most horrible decisions I have to make.

Can I speak to more than one trustee if I am not happy with the one I met with?

I will give a quick answer now, and write more later. As Wendy says, you can see more than one trustee. The first one we went to see sat back sipping on a pop and seemed disinterested. I actually asked if he had ever done this before! Needless to say we went to another and were quite pleased.

The other thing that surprised me was how much time you have. The trustees were in no rush as they said it takes time for all the legal action to take place (we moved out of our house, business, etc). So, take a deep breath on relax. Take time to make a decision. If you can make the minimum payments, do that. 40K in credit card debt is a lot. We had that.

If you can wait it out until the retro support comes in that would be good. Use that to buy the kids clothes and school supplies. We stocked up on chicken that was on sale and put it in the freezer. You have to eat. They are not going to take that. Sorry, but you have to take care of yourself.

We had A1 credit, well educated, and well, sh*t happens. But guess what we are happier than we have been in years! What is more important, your credit rating or your mental health and taking care of your kids? Not a hard decision.

Please, just take care of yourself. Bankruptcy is meant to help situations like yours.

Thank you so much for the helpful advice.  I really appreciate this more than you can imagine.

My situation is very hard and quite sad for me right now.  I had resigned myself to the fact that I would have to file bankruptcy.  I had looked into bankruptcy on-line, spoke to a dept/credit counselor and met with that Trustee that I will not be going with.  For the first time in a long time I allowed myself to feel some peace.  I felt that weight lifting.  I was also told prior to meeting with the trustee that any back child support would not be touched only to find out that that in untrue. 

I found myself in a situation where I  had to go through hell to get monthly child support payments increased.  I only found out he was underpaying me last year because the geared to income place I somehow was able to find in the 3 months I was given to leave my home by my ex-finance or I was looking at being homeless - not the kids only me.  To ensure I was receiving the correct amount in child support, the agency that I receive the geared to income rent from,  found he was grossly underpaying me, it was mandatory that I pursue taking him to court to have this changed.

The weird thing was that no one had any idea how the judge came to the amount he did for two kids as he did not follow any support guidelines and gave no explanation in the court documents.  I am looking at a situation which may finally come to a conclusion at the end of the month whereby my ex will have to pay the correct amount per month but also have to pay one year or possibly two in back child support.  Part of one year's back support  will go to the geared to income agency and the rest is suppose to go to the kids and I.

This could be, depending on how it turns out, $5,000.  I have been told that if I file before the decision is made whatever money is left over after the rent agency take their cut, will all go to the creditors.  To fight for so long and for the kids and I to put up with what we have for the past year from him only to lose it all is a horrid thought. 

If I file after the decision is made I was told to spend that money on everything the kids need and for all the things we have had to go without for the last 15 months. 

Well, that is great, however the problem is that this back support was suppose to be put away for them to help with things as they come up and for emergencies.    I do not have anyone to help me if I am stuck.  I have no job.  I have so much going against me at the moment that to spend every last dime and have nothing for them down the line scares me to death.  So much so that I am considering not claiming bankruptcy to ensure they have something in the bank for when it is needed because I do not know when my situation is going to turn around.  My kids are not small either.  They are in early high school which is not an easy time nor an inexpensive time especially when you  have an ex who is going to demand I pay for half of all the school stuff, not to mention that I need to supply everything in my home completely separate from his - he does not allow them to bring any clothes etc. to my house.  Needless to say he is extremely unhappy about having to pay the proper child support.

I also know I cannot go on like this with the card payments.  I know I will never pay off one of the cards that carries 3/4 of my debt.  I finally resigned myself that this is my only choice given the rotten situation I am in at the moment.

I cannot even begin to tell you what this has done to me emotionally and mentally.  I am drained.  I need to do this but I cannot have my kids back child support just disappear after all of what we went through to get it.

I feel as if I am back to being stuck again and I am more stressed now than ever.  I thought I had an answer and relief only to find out that this is not the case as in this case the kids get to suffer again.  They suffered with what their step-dad did with just walking out, telling us we had to leave what we called home in 3 months, leaving with no money, no job, no furniture....nothing...I had to start all over again.  If that did a number on me you can imagine what this has done to my kids.  We even had to leave our dog.  Then I had to take their dad to court as is mandatory for me to live in the home I live in now.  I never thought that he was underpaying me so badly.  Having a Godsend in the back support so that I can take care of my kids better, after the horrible year we just had, and have money if they need something.  Then to find that bankruptcy is my only choice to help alleviate the stress I am under - (having my creditors come down to a certain amount and paying them a monthly payment would not work for me because I do not have the money to take that option).

I still have no idea what to do and it is affecting me physically as I may now have an ulcer on top of everything.

I do not know what to do.  Has anyone been in the situation and if so what did you do?  I feel so frigging stuck and feel I am dying a little every day.

Very good advice from ML. Deal with it and get on with it. It is not going to go away. It sucks to have kids in early high school and not know what to do. But.....when they want to go to college or what ever, it is better to have this cleared up now.

We all think to just hang on and tough it out, well, it really is better to deal with it and move on. I would really take ML's advice.

I would like people to know that if you are a parent due retroactive child support and it comes in a lump sum payment that payment can be spread over the 9 month bankruptcy process thereby allowing you to keep the money if you stay under your family amount that you are allowed to make per month.  In my case I would be  under the monthly allowable because I am in a deficit situation.

I went to another trustee to get more info before I do anything I will regret.  I was told that what the first trustee told me about this trustee getting half of that retro child support money because it goes over your surplus in one month is unethical and the second trustee just could not believe I was told this.  I was shocked and disgusted myself and was so happy I spoke to another trustee.  The second trustee has been doing this for 30 years whereas the other one had been doing it for less than 10.  I trust the one with more experience.

Now my situation is that I am in a deficit situation, meaning I have less income than I have bills so that is the reason why this can be worked out this way.  I also found out that due to this I qualify for bankruptcy assistance so that I pay less over the 9 months. 

I encourage people to seek the advice of at least two trustees before you take the plunge.  The trustee can work with you to help you with what is best for your situation.  If you are in a deficit situation seek advice as I did because a deficit situation is the bottom - there is no where to go but up from there.